Our Garden

L and I worked on out gardens last week. This is a day view:

and a night view:

Its kinda cool to sit out there and listen to the fountain. Very soothing.

Back again?

I'm back again, for how long I do not know. Today is cd 1 after a 60some day cycle. The last couple of weeks have been good and bad. My parents came down to visit and that was nice. Mother's Day happened and that wasnt so nice. I really didnt think I would take it so hard but I did. So that sunday and even that monday were hard. Harder than I expected them to be. Slowly I am getting back to a good place.

I want this cycle to be positive. Any kind of positive will be good. Even just forming some eggs with the clomid would be nice. Releasing such eggs would be nicer. Having a positive pg test would be the nicest.

I am think that this will be our last clomid cycle if none of the above positives happen. I have been hanging on to this treatment because its the cheapest but I think it might be time to move on.

I'm Back!!

I'm back. I have been away from my blog for various reasons. I have been sick, busy with work, busy with finals, and just dont have much to chat about.

On the sickness front, I have come down with bronchitis which just sucks. There are really no other words to descrie it. So 100 bucks later I had a doctors visit, steroid shot, breathing treatment, and 3 prescriptions. I think I am over the worst of it and just have to wait out the rest. (knock on wood)

Work has also been busy. I was on a business trip for a few days and then had to catch up. Work is work. 'nough said.

School is finishing up for the semester. As a matter of fact I should be working on my final projects as I type this. Oh well maybe tomorrow.

On the baby front, there really isnt much going on. I went for my follow-up after surgery appointment. All clear on that. My obgyn gave me the option of 3 more rounds of clomid or going to the fertility clinic. Since I have been on the metformin for 1.5 months now, we hope that the clomid might be more effective this time. If anyone has any experience or advice on this I would really appreciate it.

I will try to get some pics of my new house up soon.

Why?

Why? Why? Why? That what I asked myself, God, and the world today when I read this article. There are tons of women, me included, that would love to be pregnant and have a baby. Why is it that babies are handed out to people that dont want them? and when they are handed to those who dont want them why cant those people be kind enough, mature enough to hand that baby to someone who really does want it?

Blah!!!

The Aftermath...

I am now at home resting from a horrendous surgery experience. The surgery itself and most of the recovery actually went pretty well. I remember a floating feeling and then I woke up in recovery. While in recovery they told me I could leave as soon as I went to the potty. Well time passed and more time passed and I still couldnt go. They did an in and out cathether to get the urine out and suprisingly let me go home at aroun 6:00pm (my procedure was for noon). I was really suprised to be sent home because I had been told that if I didnt pee I would be admitted, but I guess the outpatient department was ready to go home and so they send me home. That was a mistake. I ended up back in the ER at about 8:00pm because I couldnt pee and was in the most excruciating pain I have ever been in my life. It sucked. I couldnt sit, I couldnt move...you get the picture. They put a cathether in and took out some blood from my bladder which freaked us out a bit. I finally ended up coming home with the cathether at around 11:00pm with instructions to call my doctor in the morning. This morning my doctor gave me instructions on how to take the cathether out (which was kinda interesting) and an appointment to see him. I got to the doctors office and I was either going to be able to pee or another cathether would go in. It was kinda funny because there were 2 nurses, L and my mom waiting outside the bathroom to see if I had peed. I managed a little stream which was progress and from then on all has been fine. I do feel like I did 1000 crunches and someone punched me in the stomach. I am on percoset for pain, an antibiodic, and a medicine to make my bladder spams.

Now to the good part. The good part is that the doctor said it all looked good. My tubes were open, my ovaries had some tiny cysts in them which is to be expected with PCOS, and I had a tiny bit of endometriosis that the doctor lasered off. The doctor was very optimistic about it and says that there is no reason we cant get pregnant once I start ovulating.

So for now I am bumming around the house just sleeping and playing on the net. L left for a business trip a little while ago but my mom came to stay with me for the week.

Hope everyone has a great rest of the week.

I'm Back

We are finally settling in our new house. The internet is up and running and so is the satellite. This is life lol I am on spring break this week so that is awesome.

Tomorrow I am having my laparoscopy. Wish me luck.

Home Sweet Home

We are finally getting settled into our new house. I am always suprised at the amount of stuff that we have. I absolutely love the new house. We still have alot of unpacking and decorating to do but slowly it is coming together. This week is a short but busy week at work. I have staff meeting, Easter celebrations, and a doctors appointment. Then on friday (which I have off) we will be driving to Houston to have Easter with my siblings. It is rare that the four of us get together so it should be fun.

I will become a better blogger once I have my internet up and running.

3 years ago today...

Three years ago today I married the most amazing man in the world. He is truly my best friend. L and I had a great wedding surrounded by many friends and family. Our marriage is a good marriage. I love my husband. He is my world and I would be lost without him. We love, we argue, we laugh, we cry but above all we respect each other and our differences. We've had a tough year this year but our sorrows have only made our bond stronger.

My only wish this upcoming year together is to have a baby. A baby that we can share this huge love with. A baby that would take us from a family of two to a family of three. But at the same time I have come to realize over the past year that if we are not blessed with children, we will be ok. We will build a happy life just the two of us, a different life but a good life.

So I do believe in fairy tales and fairy tale marriages, the ones in real life just have some bumps along the way . I am blessed that my marriage is one so filled with happiness. I will always thank God that L became a part of my life and I became a part of his.

Love You, Babe!!!!

Prayers

Please say some prayers for my niece Laura who is in the hospital with pneumonia.

We love you wiggleworm!!

Checking In

Yes I am a bad blogger. I have tons of excuses but I'll save them for another day. We are still living with my SIL which is why I dont get on the computer that often. We are closing on our house on March 29, keep your fingers crossed that they dont push us back. The house is coming along beautifully and I cant wait to get in it.

My laprascopy is scheduled in April. I am kinda freaked out about this because I have never been in a hospital or had surgery or ever been under anesthesia. Everyone I talk to says its no big deal. I did schedule during spring break since I have the week off and dont have to take anymore time off work. So while we wait for my surgery, I am on 1000mg of metformin (read about it here). My body is slowing getting used to it but it has not been a smooth process. All I can say is that this better lead to something good. lol

Other than the above work and school keep me pretty busy.

A Winding Course

So I talked to my doctor today after last weeks negative ovulation results. He's a nice good doctor and I have faith in the course he wants us to take. I like him because he is a no nonsense kinda doctor and doesnt beat around the bush. He suggested getting a laparoscopy done to take an internal look and see if anything is going on in there. I am also to go on glucophage to help with the PCOS stuff. Tomorrow I go for some baseline bloodwork so I can start the glucophage. We will then reevaluate my situation in a few months at which point if I still havent ovulated on my own I will be refered to the RE. I am comfortable with this plan and can only hope and pray that it works.

On some lighter note, I will try and post some DC and house pictures soon.

Greeting from Washington, DC

Greeting from Washington, DC!!! I am attending a conference for most of this week up here. I was suprised to see snow on the ground while the plane landed and more suprised that it is still hanging around. Everyone says how warm it has gotten this week. Its a whopping 40 degrees. Thats not warm for us southeners lol. I will return home tomorrow after which I will have limited access to the internet because we are homeless lol Our new house is moving along rapidly and we hope to get in there in about 3 weeks.

On the baby making front, this was yet another negative cycle for me. Even with the hcg shot I was not able to ovulate. I had the nurse call L because I really didnt want to hear it from her. My doctor is out of town until monday and which point he will call me to discuss the results but we are expecting a referal to the RE. We will not be using our previous RE as I did not like his bedside manner very much. We have decided that we will wait until we are settled in our new home and take off all that stress to start any kind of fertility treatment although I think I might schedule an appointment to talk about our options. We shall see.

Happy V-Day

Happy Valentines Day!!!!

We had a pretty good valentines this year. We went to dinner and it was yummy. Then came home and tried to finish up our packing and moving. Romantic huh? lol

Hope everyone had a great day!!!

Hope?

My appointment went okay today. There is a little sign of life in my ovaries but not much. We decided to go ahead with the HCG shot even though the follicles werent near perfect size. Hopefully at least I will ovulate. I have bloodwork scheduled for next monday.

So now I am asking for prayers. Prayers that this cycle gives us our miracle, prayers that this cycle brings my ovaries back to life...Prayers to deal with whatever the results are.

Bad Blogger

****THIS IS MY 100TH POST! EXCITING!!!****

I have been a bad blogger. I really dont have any excuses other than the usual too much work, too much school, and too much to do. We have been moving our stuff to storage as we are scheduled to sign on the sale of our house on friday. We are going to a hotel for a few weeks until our new house is ready. Hopefully only a month tops.

Tomorrow I have an appointment to see how the clomid worked. I was thinking that it probably didnt work since I took 150mg and wasnt feeling any side effects or anything. That is until yesterday when I started cramping and twiches and then today I have the dreaded headache. I am not getting my hopes up that it worked. We shall see.

We have some dinner plans for Valentine's Day that I am excited about. I have wanted to go to this particular restaurant for a while now and we have finally gotten reservations.

I will update tomorrow after my appointment at @ 2:15pm.

2 years ago today...

Two years ago we started trying for a baby. Never, never did it cross my mind that it would take this long.

Sold

Our house sold!!!Yay!!! Our house sold over the weekend so we have been busy trying to find a place to live since our new house wont be ready for at least 6 weeks. We will be homeless starting in mid Feb. So between the packing, moving stuff to storage, changing address on a gagillion things and making sure we are not homeless, keeping up with our new house and of course work and school things are extremely busy around here.

On the baby making front, I started my cycle today so I will be taking Clomid and Dexasomething soon. I will also have an ultrasound on day 14 to see if and how the clomid worked. This will be my last cycle with my current obgyn so either I am pregnant at the end of this month or making an appointment with the specialist. I am thinking if this cycle is a bust we will wait until we are settled in the new house before going to the specialist. We'll see how it turns out.

Have a great one everyone!

One of The Big Debate

Disclaimer: This is my opinion in my blog. You are free to disagree but only in a nice way.

So I go attend night classes to obtain my MBA. This semester I have a marketing class. The professor is good and really gets the class involved. In todays lecture something was said that most didnt pay attention but I did. We were talking about changing demographics and one of the points was that 'more kids are getting raised by others'. ???. Does that mean what I think it means? Yup the ever debatable issue of working mommies. My sister and I have this discussion all the time. I think its a decision that every family must make looking at whats best for them.

I dont think that sending your baby to daycare means that you are letting someone else raise your kids. I think there are some great working mommies out there as well as some great stay at home mommies.

I will more than likely be a working mommy. Munchkin will go to the child care place at my employers central office. It is top notch as I work for a federally funded early childhood education organization lol. I am completely comfortable with their care. I really like my job and would like to be able to continue at it. Now this might change when we acutaly have a child but this is our opinion at the moment.

If anybody wants to chime in on this great debate, in a respectable way, feel free

Can you see it?

I have a pretty long commute to work every morning, about 45 minutes each way. The good thing about it is that its back country roads so not too much traffic. Along the way I see cows and lots of green pasture. Sometimes even some deer. This morning I turn the corner and this is what I see. (Yes I stopped in the middle of the road to take a picture, there was no traffic) Can you see it?

Its A RAINBOW!!!

P.S. I carry my digital camera in my purse just in case I see something cool. hehehe

Just for Fun

This is me:

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Just for the record, this thing does tell the truth about my moods. Hehehe

This is L:

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Just Chilling

Hey everybody, this is L, Sandra and I are just chilling out and enjoying some down time. The new house is coming along. The second floor is framed and they are getting ready to start on the roof trusses.

Take it easy!

L

Weird

Frances over at Unyielding tagged me. I am supposed to write 6 things that are weird about me. Thanks Frances for my first tag! :)

• I am anal about my socks. All my socks are ankle socks and the lines have to fit perfectly over my toes otherwise it drives me nuts
• I am claustrophobic and cant stand being enclosed. This is one of the reasons I have an open door policy at work lol
• Along with the above is that I dont like big crowds very much. This probably comes from not liking to be touched by strangers lol
• I have a fixation with monkeys. I just love them. My guest bathroom is monkey. I have monkey socks, slippers, blankets, almost anything you can think of.
• My toes look like Vienna Sausages. Long and skinny. Very weird
• I could only think of five and even those arent very good lol
• Edited to Add: I thought of another one: I do not like edges of food. For example, I only eat the brownies in the middle of the pan, rarely eat the crust of pizza :)

I am supposed to tag five people. So you gals are it:

• Lisa at In Due Time
• Jody at Just Keep Swimming
• Larissa at The Waiting Womb

Okay I could only think of three lol.

What she said...

Ditto to what Frances says in this post:

http://unyielding.blogspot.com/2007/01/yah-what-she-said.html

House

Here are some pictures of our new house. They are working on the first floor now.

I am freaking out a little because in order to buy the new house we have to sell our current house. Please send us some prayers to help sell our house. Thanks

A Rant

Why cant life be simple? Why are there always decisions to make? Arghhh. I feel like a very selfish person right now. One on hand a want a baby, any which way I can get it. On the other hand I want to be pregnant. I want to feel life grow inside of me. I know in my heart I will love my child the same no matter how it comes to our lives. I dont know what I want.

Over the past few weeks, we have heard some news that have dimmed our hopes on an adoption from Mexico. I knew from the beginning that adopting from there was hard but now I am thinking its almost impossible. It hurts my heart from having to walk away from it but I am starting to understand that my hope there is fruitless. We have not walked away completly. At this moment we have decided to stay on the list and keep hoping until our US paperwork expires. If there is no adoption by then we will very sadly walk away.

We have also decided to seek fertility treatments. I have one more round with my Ob/Gyn and if that doesnt work then we are going to an RE. The selfish part is that I am willing to do whatever it takes for this to work. I never thought I would get to this point but I have. L and I have decided that we will have a health/fertility loan if there gets a time we need it. Our insurance doesnt cover fertility so its all on us.

I finish my rant by saying that life is rather hectic and busy besides this baby business. Work is busy, I start school next week (only 2 classes left after this semester), and I am still going to the gym.

Oh yeah if anyone knows any good books about infertility and such please let me know.

Feel free to leave a message and make me feel special.

Exercise?

I joined the gym a couple days ago and today was the first day I got to go. Hmm...right now about all I can move are my fingers lol its is so depressing but I hope my motivation continues. I am just not happy with the way I look and want to lose 15-20lbs. I am excited to finally get to this. I also hope it helps baby wise. Thats what I think about while panting on the treadmill hahaha :)

Ok gotta go try to move my muscles lol

New Year

A new year, a new beginning. Here are some of my favorite quotes (the ones in blue are my favorite for this year).

If it were not for hopes, the heart would break.
-- Thomas Fuller

Don't lose hope. When it gets darkest the stars come out.
-- Unknown

Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.
-- Pope John XXIII

Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr

Dreams do not vanish, so long as people do not abandon them.
-- Unknown

Por muy larga que sea la tormenta, el sol siempre vuelve a brillar entre las nubes.
-- Khalil Gibran

El que la sigue la consigue.
-- Refrán

Nunca desistas de un sueño. Sólo trata de ver las señales que te lleven a él.
-- Paulo Coelho

La huella de un sueño no es menos real que la de una pisada.
-- George Duby

LUCKY '07!!!!

A look back and a look ahead...

As we are getting ready to step into 2007, I want to look back at 2006. There are many many things that happened this year in our lives. We started off the year on a bad foot with bad news at the RE at that point we decided not to pursue fertility treatments. We started paperwork for adoption from Mexico, thinking for a baby by Christmas, unfortunately the process was/is slower than we ever imagined it would be. So the worst thing this year is that there was no baby for us in 2006.

After all this I must say 2006 also had lots of positives. L and I celebrated our 2nd anniversary. Throughtout this whole process of becoming a family of more than two, our relationship has grown stronger. I am forever grateful to have L in my life. I also changed jobs. I love what I do now and hope to grow better at it in the coming year. My sister-in-law gave birth to a beautiful baby girl that is a spoiled rotten and a huge part of our lives.

Here's are our dreams for 2007:

• becoming a family of more than 2 (I keep saying more than 2 just in case God gives us more than one baby this year)
• celebrating our 3rd anniversary
• big celebration for L's 30th birthday
• moving into our new home

I hope and pray that all your dreams come true!!! Lucky '07!!!

Tourists

L and I decided to spend the day as tourists. So into the city we went. We went to the aquarium and the IMAX and the World War II museum. We had an awesome time and made some new friends.


You cant be a tourist in New Orleans without buying beads so here are mine. These are cool Texas A&M beads.
Overall it was a great relaxing day!!!

Relaxing Time

Larry, from now on to be called L, and I are both home this week. I am on holiday break and L took the week off. We are enjoying our time off together relaxing and hanging out. We spend this morning sleeping then the afternoon playing with Laura. I am so super glad and grateful that my sister in law lets us be a huge part of Laura's life. We spoil her rotten :-D. This evening we all took her out to Christmas in the Oaks. Its a hugh display of lights at one of the parks in the city. We go every year. Tonight it was super cold so this is me in my winter gear and photo backpack and hot chocolate.
This is L and me in front of the ponseita (?) tree.
Since some of you might want to know how cold it was I will tell you. It was a freezing 50 degrees lol I know for some of you reading in the north thats long sleeve shirt weather but for us southeners its a pull out your jackets and hats that are worn only a couple times a year lol

Christmas Traditions

We had a great Christmas Day today! We opened our Santa gifts bright and early as we were going to Larry's family later that morning. I must have been really good this year because I got some cool stuff. I got a couple lenses for my camera as well as a new backpack for my camera. Its super cool. In our house we also get to open one gift on Christmas Eve, its a tradition that Larry's mom did when he was a kid so we continue it at our house. The gift is always pj's. So that when you wake up on Christmas morning you have nice pjs in the pictures. These are our pjs this year. I got polar bears and Larry got superman.


This is one of my favorite gifts. Its a snowglobe with a mama and baby monkey. It is so super cool and I absolutely love it!!! Thanks Granny!!!!

An Epiphany

Its the eve of christmas eve today. Christmas is my favorite time of year, I love it. This year has been a little harder. I really thought that this year we would be celebrating with a baby. So as the Christmas cards come in from all of our friends and family, its hard to see their beautiful babies. My heart just aches thinking that that may never be us. So I was getting a little depressed and didnt like it. I am making an effort to be cheerful this holiday season and enjoy it to the fullest. Its not that my heart doesnt ache, its just that while before I tried to ignore it now I am learning to live despite the ache. I think I am doing pretty good.

So I had an epiphany. I had it a couple days ago but have been mulling it over. I have been moping and sad because I had hoped that we would be celebrating Christmas as a family. Obviously we dont have a baby so I kept thinking I was getting the shaft but in reality I am celebrating Christmas as a family. I have come to realize that Larry and I are a family. We are a family of two. We will continue to pray, hope and wish that soon we will be a family of at least three but we will also live our lives very happily as a family of two.

We have also decided that because of the instability and disorganization of the adoption process in Mexico, in 2007 we will be saving our money for infertility treatments. We will continue to monitor our case in Mexico but I am really seeing a long long long wait for that. We have a long way to save but we work hard and we will see what happens.

So in the spirit of Christmas I spend the afternoon in the kitchen coming up with these. I must say they are yuuuummmy!!! (Can you see where I tasted one of each?!)

Almond Chocolate Cookies

Banana Oatmeal Cookies Chocolate Strawberry Thumbprint Cookies

Merry Christmas!!!

Yet another negative

Yep another negative ovulation blood test. It sucks. I really dont understand why my body is not working. The adoption wait is also not going very well. If anyone know anything about the Mexican government is that its extremely complicated. You basically have to know someone somewhere to get anything done. I thought we had that but at this point I am not really sure.

I am trying not to get too sad and depressed over this especially this close to Christmas but it is becoming really hard. I really thought we would have a baby by this point. If I could just know what is in the future for us I could make my peace with it but I guess that would make life too simple.

For now I will cry for a while and then live my life with my wonderful husband and keep hoping. It is also getting harder and harder for me to have faith and to keep praying.

Merry Christmas!

Snow!!!!!!!

We saw snow!!! Okay more like a couple snow flakes but in El Paso thats a big deal. Its super cold here and I am hoping for a few more snowflakes.

Going Away

No not away from the blog but away for the weekend. We are going to go see my parents in Texas. I am so very very excited. We get to go to my favorite restaurants and see my old hangouts lol. I am taking an extra suitcase to bring back some goodies.

Adios!!!!

A new friend

This is our new friend. He hangs out and looks pretty in our front yard. His nose lights up, its cool!

From our home to yours!!!!!!!

Christmas Tree

We put up our Christmas tree a couple of days ago. I make sure to turn on the lights every night to enjoy it.

It is actually cold in Louisiana today so we turned on a fire. We get to use our first place maybe 2 or 3 times a year. As I type, I am sitting on the couch, watching tv with the fire going. Great way to spend the evening.

"It's beginning to look a lot like ChristmasEv'rywhere you go; Take a look in the five-and-ten, glistening once again With candy canes and silver lanes aglow...."

Its beginning to look alot like Christmas!!!!

One of our Christmas traditions is to pick out a new ornament that represents something especial to us for the year. Last year we did a new home one and so on. This year we chose this one. It is hilarious, we love it. First of all we are geeks. As I type we are laying in bed watching tv and playing on our laptops. We have been known to play games online against each other while sitting on the couch lol. Secondly the two characters on the screen sing and are absolutely hilarious. We turned heads at Hallmark because we were laughing to hard. If you are in Hallmark check it out.

This one we got for the munchkin. Its a very cute winnie the pooh.
These are my new monkey christmas pj pants. They are super comfy and I love them.
Our Thanksgiving was pretty good. We spend it with Larry's family. We had tons and tons of food. We had a good time. I did have a rough moment because there were a couple of babies there and my heart ached for a baby of my own. Luckly for me, my husband is pretty smart and figured out my moment of sadness. He held me while I cried for a little bit and then we went on with our day. Just for the record, they are two of the cutest baby girls ever. It wasnt jealousy or a 'why them?' moment. It was more of a 'why not me too?' moment. Anyway I got over it.

I had a great week off and look forward to putting up our tree this weekend!!

Oh yeah by the way GIG 'EM AGGIES!!!!!!!! SAW 'EM OFF!!!!

AGGIES 12

TEXAS 07

Special Gift

Aunt Linda gave us this very special Santa. First of all, he is Mexican. Aunt Linda bought it in Tijuana, Mexico many years ago. Secondly, its about 30 some odd years old. He has been very well taken care of at Aunt Linda & Uncle Mike's house, now he has a very special place in our home. It was passed down to us and we will make sure to take good care of him. We know he comes with alot of love.

Thanks Aunt Linda!!!!

Happy Turkey Day!!!

Vacation

Ah...sweet vacation. I am on vacation this week and enjoying every minute of it. So far I have had lunch with some people from my old job, been shopping, had my hair cut, slept, and watched movies. At this moment I am watching Pride & Prejudice for the second time. Tomorrow my sister-in-law and I are taking the baby to see Santa. Exciting stuff!

I am also waiting for the realtor to come and see about our house. We are probably going to put it on the market this week. Wish us luck. There is not much progress on our new house yet but I am sure they will be moving quickly on it soon.

On the other hand, I am a little sad on the baby department. I had hoped that we would be celebrating Christmas as a family of 3. Oh well, I am sure Larry and I will enjoy what will hopefully be our last Christmas just the two of us.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Good Mail Day

This was in our mailbox the other day. We are now approved by the United States of America to adopt a foreign born child. It only took us 6 months to get it lol Now we just need to find the kiddo. At least we are moving forward, slowly but surely

Negative

As I thought, the test was negative. It really wasnt a big suprise. Now I started provera to induce a cycle then I call back when that happens.

A Song for Munchkin

This is a song from us to munchkin (Its from Aladdin):

I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, princess (or prince) , now when did
you last let your heart decide

I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways, and under
On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming

A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
That now I’m in a whole new world
With you
Now I'm in a whole new world with you.

Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless diamond sky

A whole new world
Don't you dare close your eyes
A hundred thousand things to see
Hold your breath- it gets better
I'm like a shooting star, I've come so far I can't go back to where I used to be

A whole new world
Every turn a surprise
With new horizons to pursue
Every moment red letter

I'll chase them anywhere, there's time to spare, let me share this whole new world with you

A whole new world
A whole new world
That's where we'll be
That's where we'll be
A thrilling chase
A wondrous place
For you and me

Ver 2
A whole new world
Every turn a surprise
With new horizons to pursue
Every moment gets better

To Tes or Not To Test

Yup that is the question. If you look at the ladder above it shows that I am on day 57+ of my cycle. The last two cycles have been 42 days or so long each and we were hoping that I was getting more regular. I dont think I am pregnant as I feel fine and have no signs of sickness or tiredness. Yet that tiny ray of excitement is creeping up. So I can keep my ray and live in denial or I can just go ahead and take the test to make sure its negative and call the doctor. I've been putting it off but I guess I better deal with it. We will probably go to the store tomorrow to get a test then get the guts up to try it. Even though I expect it to be negative, my heart still aches when I actually know for sure it is.

Anyway I will probably call the doctor sometime next week. He will give me something to start my cycle then I will do Clomid and some other medicine and see how that goes.

Pity Party

I am throwing a pity party for myself today. I am lonely. Larry is gone yet again. This will be the 3rd week in a 4 week period. Before that it was another few weeks. I hate coming home to an empty house. I hate sleeping in an empty bed. Basically I just hate being alone at night. It doesnt help that I am afraid of the dark. It also doesnt seem to help that there is no end in sight.

I love my husband more than anything and maybe that is what makes it harder. My dad was always working and when Larry and I were talking marriage this is one of the things that I was very firm on. I was not going to get married just to be alone and yet this is what seems to be happening. We have talked circles around this issue and there is not much we can do. It is part of his job and I just have to learn to live with it. He doesnt like it any more than I do. He hates being away but what are we to do. It wasnt supposed to be part of his job. He left a job that had him traveling more and took a pay cut yet it seems that it didnt make a difference.

Also sometimes I think that maybe this is why God hasnt given us a child. Maybe its because this isnt the life that we would want for that child. We want the life were daddy is home to play and be soccer coach, not the life where we wait for his plane to come in.

Just needed to vent

Almost ready to start

As previously posted, we are building a new house. This is where it will sit.

I love this picture. Its really cool. This is the stake that marks our property line.

The neighborhood we are moving into is very family friendly. There are alot of kids and the neighborhood is safe. The house is also kid friendly and very spacious for all those things that babies bring with them.

Now all we need is a baby or a couple babies. Hopefully we wont have a big empty house for too long. I really really hope its not too much longer.

Want what you dont have?

Do people always want what they dont have? I think so at least some people do. It is insane the amount of times I have heard "just enjoy your life without children". Does this mean that when you have children your life sucks? I dont know since I dont have one. But it makes me mad that this same words are spoken by someone who is holding their little one in their arms or just finished telling me about some great thing their kid did.

Yes I am only 25 years old, but I have done what I want to do without a baby and now I am ready for a new stage of my life. Some people are not ready for this stage until they are 30 or 33 or 22 or 23, the fact is that I am. I am ready to be a family of more than two, I am ready to have my life revolve around the life of my baby. So dont tell me 'just relax' or 'maybe its fate' or any of that bull because I just dont want to hear it. As a matter of fact I dont really want to talk about it with anyone at this point. I just want my baby

Faith

I bought this bracelet over the weekend. Its to help me remember that I have to have faith. Faith that a baby is part of our future. Faith that if this is not so that we will be able to survive and keeping on going.

News

We got news! Although not all positive even knowing that our paperwork is being looked at is good news at this point. So our case is being reviewed and we basically got moved to the 'incomplete' pile. This is what needs to be resent:
-new employment letters
-new reference letters
-signatures on the translations
-something about the birth certificates and marriage license

I have already started working on that stuff. Then we are waiting for Larrys fingerprint appointment and that elusive INS approval. There is hope.

On a funny note, you know that you have a desperate/hard situation when Maw-Maw needs to change saints because the first one couldnt quite cover it. lol We are past St Gerard and have moved on to St Gianna. lol

New Home

We are moving! Yup we are buying a new house. Its in an awesome family friendly neighborhood. Its alot bigger than are current house and closer to the interstate. It will be about a 5 minute commute for Larry and a 35 minutes commute for me. We are super excited about it. Its new construction so it will be done around March-April. This is the floorplan we picked:

Another one bites the dust

The doctor's office called this morning. Another non ovulatory cycle. I dont know if I am not ovulating at all or just ovulating really late in the cycle. Either way its not normal. So after I start my cycle I will be taking clomid and another drug that starts with a d. Hopefullly this will do the trick. I did get a copy of my bloodwork results just so I could play doctor and look up some stuff on the net. I have yet to get to that, its on my to do mountain.

On other news, I think we found a house. It will be new construction and we know where it will be. Larry and I are still negotiating about which floor plan it will be. Its a tough negotiation between the two of us. We have to figure it out by Sat which is when we will go meet with the builder.

Adios for now

More Pictures

From most of my posts you can tell who carries the camera lol So I let Larry take a picture of me so he could stop pouting.
Then I took the camera back. This is Larry with a monkey mask. He looks so funny. It suits him though lolThis is something we bought for the munchkin. Its a monkey backpack. I love it.

So that was our day today. It was fun. We also went looking at some houses. There are some good prospects.

Pictures

Just to update you all, I am feeling all better from the accident the other night. Not too much soreness anymore. The car is okay. We probably wont get the bumps fixed because its just not worth it at this point. We'll see.

Today we had a wonderful day. Larry had to DJ a corporate party today at the zoo so I tagged along. It was a beautiful day. Here are some cool pics from today.

This is a typical New Orleans brass band. They are kinda cool:

This is Larry with the sea monster:

This is one of my cool buddies, the orungatan (sp?): I think this is the coolest picture. Its a White Alligator. Yes its alive. You can see him through his glass tank
This is one of the tragedies of Hurricane Katrina. Tony the Hippo died because of the hurricane. We are hoping they will bring another hippo soon.

More pictures to come...

Shitty Shitty Day

My day sucked. There is no better way to put it. It started this morning when I woke up lonely because Larry was out of town. Added to that I woke up late. Then I went to get in the shower and saw this huge cockroach. I hate cockroaches. I drowned it, then smashed it, then threw it in the trash can. Ok then I had to attend a training all day long. I just dont like sitting down for long periods of time. I need to move around alot. I had school this evening so that was another 3 hrs of sitting.

So up to then it doesnt sound too bad. Then on my way home from school something happens that I end up here:

Yup the ER. I take the back road to my house. Its a pretty busy two lane road. Tonight, I am driving along, talking to my dad on the cell phone (hands free device been used). Out of nowhere I see this dog running onto said road. Of course you probably know what happens next. I swerved to avoid the f****ng dog and lost control of my car. I spun various times ended up in the barricade.

Since I am writing this obviously I am okay. I am banged up and will probably hurt like hell tomorrow. My car is also banged up but fixable.

Getting sleepy now. Will update later.

Summary

Okay so apparently our life has been busy. The other day we finally got a chance to go to dinner with my mother-in-law (this used to be an almost daily occurance). Its been a while. So as we are eating she's like "So, whats up with you guys? People have been asking me..." As an aside, Larry's family is very close and know all about our journey to become parents. We dont really mind that they know. We have just been really busy and haven't seen them in a while.

So back to the question. Whats up with us? Well I guess I would say not much. I will give a brief summary for those reading.
On the adoption front, Larry's fingerprints got rejected by INS so he has to redo them on Oct 27th. Also the political instability in Mexico is only getting worse. We are starting to accept the fact that the wait for a baby will be longer than we ever dreamed. It saddens us that this is the case since there are so many children in need there.
On the baby making front, my bloodwork came back normal. Which just means that what was tested is not the problem. I am on a roll with 2 cycles on my own so that is just a wait and see thing.

Basically right now we are just waiting. There is just not much we can do. We enjoy being with each other and spoiling our nephews and niece. I work and go to school and keep myself relatively busy. Oh yeah we are also looking at moving to a new house. Yes this would be our 4th move I think lol We are hoping to move closer to my work. We are talking about it.

This is our life at the moment

Lucky

I am a very lucky person. One of the good points of my marriage besides having a wonderful husband is that fact that I have great in-laws. They are great people and we get along very well. We get together with Larrys family alot and usually have a great time.

Today I got home and this was waiting for me:
Yup a Curious George cookie. Isn't it cool? My mothe- and sister-in-law went to the bakery and saw this so they bought it for me. Gotta Love Them

Now should I eat it or save it? lol

Gloominess

Yes its that kind of day today. Its gloomy and rainy and not making me feel happy. It started early this morning before going to church. This morning we had to go to the dump first thing. It stunk. It was so awfully gross. Then we go to the bakery and my muffin was not good. I didnt like it. So then comes church. If you really know me, you know that it was only after I got married that I started going to church every sunday. I didnt grow up in the church so dont feel the need to go every sunday. Larry on the other hand did grow up in the church and feels the need to go every sunday. I feel that its my duty as his wife to go together. Sometimes I enjoy it, sometimes I dont care, and sometimes it makes me sad.

Today was a sad day. The homily/sermon was about being a good mommy/daddy. My question is when am I going to get to be a mommy. Will I ever hear the sound of someone screaming "Moooommmmy". So while he is going on and on about whats a good mommy, blah blah blah, I get sadder and sadder. I think I can be a good mommy so my question is WHEN DO I GET TO BE A MOMMY? Thats what I want to know

Oh yeah and immigration rejected Larry's fingerprints so he has to get them redone a month from now. Isnt that just great

Update on the bloodwork. The nurse said that all my test came back within the normal range which means that at least we can say that those are not the cause of my problems. So another blood test to check for ovulation later this month. We shall see what happens.

Bad Blogger

Okay I am a bad blogger. I was doing so well and then I got swamped. Between work and school and home and all that, I just have enough time to check email and jump into bed. Its fun though. The job is going great and school is going well. I have certainly been busy though.

On the baby front, I had some blood work done on Monday. The nurse called today and said everything came back normal. What does this mean? I have no idea lol She called in between meetings so I didnt have much time to talk. I will call her again to see what that means. I was also supposed to try clomid again this month but I forgot to ask her about that too. It was a busy day today. But tomorrow is friday! Yay!

Life Is Good

Two In A Row

If you look right above this post you will see one of my tickers. Today its on cycle day 1. Yup thats right, I started another cycle on my own. Oh I wonder if it could be, could I finally be getting regular? That would be awesome. I'll be getting some bloodwork done on monday.

But with everyone of these cycles. I have horrible PMS. Just ask Larry:) He usually bears the brunt of it all. I can actually feel my mood swings come and go. Its kinda creepy. Lucky for me he is a wonderful man and tries to understand that I cant control most of it.

Adding to my PMS is the fact that Larry has been working like a madman. Tomorrow will be his 7th day in a row working. I get lonely. I dont ever remember lonely like this. But with him working so much, my new job and school I am really missing my husband. Hopefully it will all calm down soon and we can spend some quality time together.

Survived

I survived my first week at my new job. I love it. I absolutely love it. I have lots and lots of work but it keeps me busy and its good work. Now hopefully a relaxing weekend lies ahead.

Food for Thought

As many of you know, I now manage a Head Start center. The center has kiddos from 0-5. I was talking to my sister the other day and shes like 'I bet it will be hard for you being around the kiddos'. I must say it really isnt. The youngest is 6 months and the oldest is almost 5. We are getting a couple baby babies so that should be cool. I really like my new job and I enjoy playing with the kiddos when I get a chance. Today I ran into this quote and I think this is why I am so relaxed about all this:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.-Jeremiah 29:11

I will take that to bed with me tonight.

Landfall

The storm has definitely made landfall. My new job is really cool. I like it so far. I have alot of responsibilities and tons of paperwork. Other than a trip to the ER for a little one's smashed finger (I really could have lived without that). It was an eventfull first day to say the least. The people are awesome and the kiddos are cute. I really think I will like it here. At least I hope I do. The only thing that sucks a little is that I go in at 730am and I am not a very good morning person. I better get used to it now. lol We shall see how the rest of the week goes.

The Calm Before The Storm

Tomorrow I start my new job. I am nervous but excited. I really think I am going to love it. I'll be really busy though. Wish me luck!

To relax, we bought this cool rocker. It was 40 bucks at Wal-Mart (I've never gotten something 50% off at Wal-Mart lol). Here's Larry taking a rest after the tough job of putting the chair together.
And here is Larry having what looks like a very serious conversation with Max. I wonder what they were discussing lol.
Are you wondering why I didnt get a picture on our brand new chair? Well its about 1000% humidity today so I was out there for about 30 seconds. Just long enough to snap a photo. Than back to the A/C for me. This humidity sucks.

Political Instability

I am very sad to see the political stability happening in Mexico. As sad as I am for us and what this means for our adoption plans. I am even more sad for the people of Mexico. This political turmoil keeps the people of Mexico from getting better services that they are entitled to. I really hope that the politicians stop to think about what this does to the people they are supposed to be representing.

What this does to our adoption plans? I do not know. Nobody really knows. All we can do is wait. We are getting rather good at waiting lol Gotta have faith I guess.

By the way, if you look on the bottom left hand corner of the page you can see that my counter has surpassed 1000 hits. Yay! Most of them are probably from me reloading the page to see how far along my counter is lol. So I know that somebody out there is looking at this page so leave me a message. It makes me feel special. You dont have to have a blogger account :)

Also this is my 50th post. As weird as it may sound this is a good outlet for me. Its very good therapy. I try to post my goods and my bads. If you are reading, I hope you are enjoying my life story lol

Good Relaxing Weekend

We had an awesome relaxing weekend at the coast for the most part. We were sad to see the devastation of Hurricane Katrina, even after a year rebuilding is nowhere near beginning. We hope to see the area return to its pre hurricane splendor.

On to the awesome relaxing weekend stuff. We stayed at the Beau Rivage, it was really cool. We were on the 21st floor and had a very nice view of the gulf. Here is a picture of our hotel at night:
Here is a view of the Gulf of Mexico from our hotel room. Its no ocean but its still cool.
And here we are walking on the dock by the beach. A really nice lady from Texas took our picture. It was a little cloudy and rainy but we survived.
Oh yeah we lost $7 at the casino. Big spenders we are.

On the way home we stopped at the outlet mall to do some shopping. It was some nice retail therapy. So I am ready for my last week at my current job and to start the adventure of my new job.

Life is good...

Yay for Long Weekends

I so needed this long weekend. I had originally planned to take fri-tues off but today I had to go to new employee orientation and I have to go again on tues. I still have the day off on monday. Tomorrow Larry has to work and I have some homework to do that I will do while he is working. Then on Sunday we are leaving to go here. I am so excited! I have never seen the Gulf of Mexico. It should be fun. I will make sure to take lots of pictures. Have a great weekend everyone!

Some Cool Stuff

I got this in the mail today. The key chain says "God Bless The Flad Family". Yes I see it as a sign. I see it all as sign. It was one of those things were they send you something and ask for money. I might send them 20 bucks. We can use all the help we need lol


This I found at Barnes & Nobles. Its a monkey planner. I love it. It includes a monkey eraser and monkey writing pad. Its cool :)


Gotta go to school.

Bad News and Good News

I'll tell you the bad news first. I am still not ovulating. Yup that sucks. My progestrone level was 0.5 this cycle and they like to see it at over 15. I am disappointed but not really heartbroken. I kinda knew I still wasnt. I really like my new doctor though and I love the nurse. She is the coolest. So I will hopefully finish this cycle on my own. I then the plan is to get some baseline bloodwork done. This will be the whole shabang of bloodwork. I havent had that done since 2003 before getting of bloodwork. Hopefully that will give a glimpse into what is going on. Then I will try clomid at 50mg to see if that works. So thats the plan for that. I'm okay with this and thats because of the following good news.

I have a NEW JOB! Yay I am so very excited. I am sad to leave my old job but I dont think it was enough of a challenge, on most days, for me. I new job is a huge professional step up for me and I am looking forward to the new challenge. I am the new center director for a migrant headstart. What is that? A migrant headstart serves the children of migrant (seasonal)/low income family. It is mainly a hispanic population. As some of you know, my parents immigrated from Mexico. They came to this country with basic education and no english. As children we were low income, I was the kid getting on the bus to go to headstart. My parents were also migrant workers. They worked the fields and all sorts of manual labor. So this position for me and my family is like coming full circle. Now I have the opportunity to help these families transition and succeed. I am really super excited about it. Another perk is that because my center serves children 0-4yrs, the munchkin can come to work with me. Yay! This solves the daycare dilema working mommies face. Oh yeah I'll be making more money too lol

Anyway this is a transition time for us. Although I would be over the moon if we got munchkin now, I am okay with the delay (not happy about it but okay). This will give me time to settle into my new job and all that. So alot is going on right now in our lives. We are going to start looking for a house closer to my job. We wont buy just yet until we see if this job is going to be a nice fit for us.

Please go over and congratulate Mary-Mia & Rod on their double blessings.

Just Another Rainy Day

Yup when you live in south Louisiana you get used to rainy days. Its been raining here for days and days. Its getting kind of old. Right now we are just sitting around watching NASCAR and checking up on Ernesto. It will suck if it comes this way. Larry leaves on monday so that means Max and I would have to evacuate on our own. I have never evacuated on my own. But hopefully it will not come here. Its sad that everyone prays that it hits someone else. I guess thats just the way things work around here. Not much else to report. Have a great weekend

Not much to report

The title says it all. There is not much to report here. We are just chugging along. I started school yesterday. Its cool. I am taking a finance class, an accounting class, and a communications class. I go to school two evenings a week and take one over the internet. There is only 11 classes in the program and these are number 5,6, and 7. So slowly but surely I will get that degree. So far I have a 4.0 but dont know how much longer that will last. My finance class is cool, the professor went to Texas A&M so thats awesome. Not many aggies out here. Wish me luck.

On the home front, I am still holding down the fort alone as Larry is out of town yet again. Such is life I guess. We are thinking of taking a trip to see my parents soon. We are still in the thinking phase. Also I think I am coming down with something. My throat hurts and I am starting to sound weird. Better hit the OJ.

On the baby front, we are waiting. Yup still waiting. I am making myself comfortable for a loooong wait lol I think I have come to terms with it. Like I said earlier, such is life. Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment to do some bloodwork. We shall see what the results are. I am drinking this tea I bought in Mexico. Its nasty but if it works I'll drink it. I'll post the bloodwork results once I get them so you can all overanalyze with me.

Have a great one.

Cool Stuff

Our friend Courtney is an audiologist. Since Larry is in the sound business, she is getting some custom made earplugs for him. Thanks, Courtney!(I know you ready this so leave us a message) Today we met Courtney to get a mold of Larry's ears. She could only do one ear today because his other one is too full of wax lol. I knew he had a listening problem lol j/k. Anyway heres what happened:

In this one, she is shooting the putty into his ear. Dont worry she really does know what she is doing :)

Here is what his ear looks like with all the stuff in it.
And here is the mold of his ear.

We thought it was really cool. We also got to play with her ear magnifier thingy. Larrys ears are so gross lol

Today we also went to see the movie 'World Trade Center'. It was really sad. I cried.

Other than that not much going on. Having a nice relaxing saturday.

Bound to Happen

Something like this was bound to happen sooner or later:
This girl comes up to me and rubs my stomach thinking the I was
pregnant :( She makes a remark about it. I had to tell her that no I am not pregnant just fat. That totally did not make my day. It made me sad.

So I am not the skinniest girl on the block but I am not really fat. I have a tummy, its part beer belly from college lol and part pcos. Its also part 'I like to eat and not exercise'. But I think this is what I needed to give me that push. I will start exercising in the morning. Please encourage me to keep going. Cant let this happen again.

Bad Blogger

Ok I've been a bad blogger. I'm in a funk. I think its because Larry has been gone so much. We have been married 2.5 years together for over 3 years and this is the longest we have been apart. I miss him. Its also the limbo thing I think. Blah... but all there is to do is focus on living life. Work kinda stinks too, lots of change going on. I dont like it much, but gotta pay the bills.

So I spend as much time as I can with our niece Laura, she's about 6 months now and a cutie. (I will ask Laura's mommy if I can post a picture of her on here) I am feeling more and more comfortable around babies since Laura was born. I actually gave her a bath today (with my mother-in-law's help lol) she was a squirmy little thing lol

Also I start school next week. I will be taking 3 classes. Yup you read that right. I work full time and will be taking 9 hours of classes. Oh yeah and somehow trying to get a baby somehow, someway. lol Wish me luck.

Lost

I was talking to a friend of mine today and the 'whats up with the two year wait thing?' My answer to that is I dont know. I wont know for a while I guess. I am also starting the whole ovulation predictor thing this month. We will see how that goes. I kinda feel lost. Sort of like when you are in a busy mall and you just stand there looking around because you dont know which way your store is, while people are passing you by. Do I go down that wing or that other wing? To the right or to the left? So I think I will just stand here and wait for a sign. Yup thats what I will do. I am confident that the right path will be revealed.

Other than that, Larry is still out of town hopefully just a few more days. I have lots and lots of work and I start school in 2 weeks. Exciting life I lead lol Right now I am trying to decide between eating chocolate pudding or oreo cookies. These is about the biggest decision I plan to make for a while. lol

Oh yeah, thanks to all who left comments on my last post. Its nice to know that others have been where I am at. Thanks

The Good, The Bad, and Unsure

As you can see I havent been on much. I've been laying low as I have alot of thoughts running through my head. I spend the weekend in Texas with Larry visiting my family and enjoying some Texas heat and food. We had a great weekend. So as the title states there is good news, bad news and some unsureness over here.

The Good:
Our papers were received in Mexico. They were all complete and approved. I have to call in two weeks to schedule a meeting with the committee.

The Bad:
We were told it was a two year wait. Yup thats right two years at least. It was said more like 2-4yrs. We never expected that the wait would be that long. I dont understand. There are tons of children sitting in orphanages.

The Unsure:
Do we want to wait at least two years? For all of you that are going thru an adoption journey you know how it is to wait, especially an international adoption. You have to put your life on hold otherwise your paperwork must be resubmitted. We were hoping that once we had munchkin we could look more into the option of moving to Texas. Well if we decide to wait the two years then the opportunity to move will pass us up.

Now here is the kicker, as many of you know we are pursuing adoption because of infertility. I have pcos and problems ovulation. I actually havent been able to ovulate or have a cycle on my own since coming off birthcontrol pills 18 months ago. Even with fertility medicines, I did not produce any eggs. Rather than going into further fertility treatments we decided to go the adoption route. But we were told that at any moment my body could kick back in. It could be a month, a year, 10 years. We just dont know. Well on friday I started my period. The first period that has come on its own in 18 months. So could it be that my body is starting to rise from the dead? We dont know. At this point we have decided that I will go to the doctor and have tests done to see if I am ovulating as well as make an appointment to meet the adoption committee in Mexico.

We honestly just dont know what lays ahead. We hope and pray that God will lead us in the path that He has chosen for us and that we are strong enough to accept this as Gods will. It is much easier for Larry to understand and accept because he has so much faith, I feel that my faith is not as strong. But Larry and I will hang tight.

As always my posts have to have something about signs. While driving around this weekend, I kept hearing the same commercial about ovulation prediction kits. It was actually getting annoying in how often they played that commercial. So is that a sign. I dont know.

Other than that another fun filled week of work and missing Larry. This is hopefully his last week away from home.