Pity Party

I am throwing a pity party for myself today. I am lonely. Larry is gone yet again. This will be the 3rd week in a 4 week period. Before that it was another few weeks. I hate coming home to an empty house. I hate sleeping in an empty bed. Basically I just hate being alone at night. It doesnt help that I am afraid of the dark. It also doesnt seem to help that there is no end in sight.

I love my husband more than anything and maybe that is what makes it harder. My dad was always working and when Larry and I were talking marriage this is one of the things that I was very firm on. I was not going to get married just to be alone and yet this is what seems to be happening. We have talked circles around this issue and there is not much we can do. It is part of his job and I just have to learn to live with it. He doesnt like it any more than I do. He hates being away but what are we to do. It wasnt supposed to be part of his job. He left a job that had him traveling more and took a pay cut yet it seems that it didnt make a difference.

Also sometimes I think that maybe this is why God hasnt given us a child. Maybe its because this isnt the life that we would want for that child. We want the life were daddy is home to play and be soccer coach, not the life where we wait for his plane to come in.

Just needed to vent